Where women truly are greater than men

Women have to endure many social injustices, I’m well aware. But, there is one glaring instance where women are vastly superior to men…restrooms. Specifically: restrooms in office buildings.

Not in the use of or cleanliness of said bathrooms, but rather the opulent space allotted to them. Years ago, I had caught a glimpse of a ladies’ room in the building that I was working in at the time. In this particular glance, I noticed a small sofa, a table and a floor plant. This peaked my curiosity, as I had only seen the interior of the men’s room, which contained a toilet, a urinal, a sink and a small splotch in the corner which may or may not have been at one time, a rodent. I then devised a plan to infiltrate this Shangra-La.

So, one morning prior to any of the offices being open, I crept into the building and made my way towards the this oasis and after knocking to ensure it was indeed empty, I entered. My eyes fell upon such a beautiful scene that I nearly wept (though it could have been the fumes from disinfectant). It was palatial and elegant and absolutely a place I could have retired to. And although I truly wanted to rest my laurels on the porcelain throne, I felt that my posterior touching it would have caused the whole bathroom to be destroyed – like when The Holy Grail crossed the seal in The Last Crusade.

In the years that followed, I have seen the inside of many women’s public restrooms (and yes, I am well aware of how truly creepy that last line read) and see this as a trend across this country. So, I proposing a compromise to take to the United States Government: equal pay and job benefits to all women in exchange for the “feminizing” of all men’s public restrooms.

Trust me guys…it’s SO worth it!