Women have to endure many social injustices, I’m well aware. But, there is one glaring instance where women are vastly superior to men…restrooms. Specifically: restrooms in office buildings.
Not in the use of or cleanliness of said bathrooms, but rather the opulent space allotted to them. Years ago, I had caught a glimpse of a ladies’ room in the building that I was working in at the time. In this particular glance, I noticed a small sofa, a table and a floor plant. This peaked my curiosity, as I had only seen the interior of the men’s room, which contained a toilet, a urinal, a sink and a small splotch in the corner which may or may not have been at one time, a rodent. I then devised a plan to infiltrate this Shangra-La.
So, one morning prior to any of the offices being open, I crept into the building and made my way towards the this oasis and after knocking to ensure it was indeed empty, I entered. My eyes fell upon such a beautiful scene that I nearly wept (though it could have been the fumes from disinfectant). It was palatial and elegant and absolutely a place I could have retired to. And although I truly wanted to rest my laurels on the porcelain throne, I felt that my posterior touching it would have caused the whole bathroom to be destroyed – like when The Holy Grail crossed the seal in The Last Crusade.
In the years that followed, I have seen the inside of many women’s public restrooms (and yes, I am well aware of how truly creepy that last line read) and see this as a trend across this country. So, I proposing a compromise to take to the United States Government: equal pay and job benefits to all women in exchange for the “feminizing” of all men’s public restrooms.
Trust me guys…it’s SO worth it!