Okay, so warmer weather is taking it’s sweet, bleeping time getting here, but it will only be a matter of time before it’ll be what I call “convertible weather”.
Convertibles are nice. I’ve driven them, I’ve ridden in them, I’ve leaned against them and taken a photo to pretend that it was mine. I could pick a convertible out of a police lineup. I’m not the world’s expert on them, but I consider myself to be a connoisseur, at least.
Yet, every year I see people commit a sin – a convertible faux pas – and one that makes the one doing it look like a complete d-bag: they drive with the top down and the windows up!
No, that transcends stupidity…it’s like a whole new level of brain-dead.
Why? Why would you anyone do that? Even single-cell amoebas, that exist only to be seen under a microscope and test our spelling prowess, wouldn’t drive in their microscopic worlds in a microscopic convertible with the microscopic top down and the microscopic windows up! Even THEY know that would make them the laughing stock of the microscopic world!
Then why do you do it?
I have asked the question and answers have ranged from the idiotic to the bizarre:
“It keeps my hair from being messed up”
“It gets too cold and windy”
“I can’t hear the radio”
If you say of these asinine things…YOU SHOULDN’T OWN A FREAKING CONVERTIBLE THEN, YOU MORON!
If you’ve never met me and do not know what I look like, drive down the road in your convertible with the top down and the windows up and I’ll be the guy waving his arms, screaming at you and generally acting like an idiot.
And I’ll still be smarter than you.